Hidden Sorrows
by LiviLottie
Summary: When an estranged daughter returns she catches the eye of the broody Musketeer Athos. She only wishes she could understand why, his secret smiles make her heart pound so hard. Athos/OC
1. Mothers demise

_I can't speak the sounds that show no pain  
I can't hear the echo of my footsteps  
Or can't remember the sound of my own name  
-Bob Dylan: Tomorrow is a long time_

* * *

**Chapter One.**

Adrienne sat at her mothers bed side, tears had long since refused to come. Left in their wake was tender stinging flesh, she extended a pale palm into the candle lit bedside, dampening the press before she placed it upon her ill mothers head. The fever had spread through her like a fire, burning her up and destroying her body. The village doctor had given her days to live, no concoction could soothe her pain.

"Addie," Her mother croaked almost lucid.

"Mother," She whispered taking her hand into her own, palm to palm her mother ran hot, blood seemingly replaced by lava as her skin almost burned. "I'm here mother, I won't leave you."

Adrienne assured her, stroking her hand through her mothers ebony locks hoping to calm her the way she once did for her.

"Sing for me, my sweet girl. Please let me hear your beautiful voice." Her voice was barely a whisper, her lids were half closed, Addie's green eyes twinged with tears seeing her mother so weak as her orbs stared back at their original owners.

"_Love, to thee my thoughts are turning,All through the night, All for thee my heart is yearning, All through the night. Though sad fate our lives may sever... _" Her voice was unsteady, it broke in places. Agony and grief driving her as she was confronted with memories of her mother singing the very song that graced her lips.

"..._Parting will not last forever, There's a hope that leaves me never, All through the night—_" The brunette was cut of by a heavy sigh, Her mothers eyes had shut and her chest had yet to rise for another breath.

"Mother?" She stroked her cheek to which she received no response, She stood up in a panic the compress falling from her lap and landing forgotten beneath the dusty bed. Adrienne threw herself forward, her ear sideways on listening to her mothers chest. Nothing.

No steady thrumming, no longer did it beat. Only a daunting silence. Her eyes burned as she looked up at her mothers peaceful face.

"Mother... Wake up... No ... mama... no please, don't leave me." she broke down for the first time in hours, her shoulders shook with the weight in her stomach. The heavy cloak of loneliness shrouded her young shoulders as she clutched onto her mothers night gown. She lay down on the bed beside her mother, tears streamed as she inhaled her comforting sent. Closing her eyes she buried her face into her neck clenching at the fabric of her bodice with desperation. Her rock was gone, the one stability she had in life dissolved. Letting out an almost inhuman screech of agony, she let go. The sobs racked her body with vigour, shaking her small frame. Her eyes burnt, her head ached and her heart throbbed in her chest.

She fell asleep that way, so lost in her anguish. It wasn't until her uncle Vincent entered the room and found her that she awoke.

"Clarence?" He almost questioned his brows fallen, tears coming to his eyes.

"She's gone." she barely whispered, speech felt like swallowing gravel, irritating her raw throat, She had no energy left to cry.

"Lord, no." He steadied himself upon the table as tears fell from his eyes at his departed sister, he watched her daughter as she moved to a sitting position, Staring almost hollowly at her mothers corpse seemingly still processing the death.

"She... She asked me to give you this after she..." He didn't finish, simply because he didn't need to. He handed a wax sealed letter before he leant down and kissed his baby sisters forehead. "I will... I'll make the preparations for a service."

"Thank you uncle." He stood, and moved before her pausing only to place a kiss upon her head.

"She was so proud of you Addie." Vincent turned and left Adrienne to read her letter and mourn her mothers passing in peace.

* * *

'_Dearest Adrienne,  
If you are reading this I am dead or very close to it at least; Your uncle was never one for guile, I am so very sorry I will not see you grow into the exceptional woman I know you will be, but know that I love you so very much and I will always watch over you._

_My health has made me contemplate the things I regret most, like keeping you from your father. He was a soldier that much was true, though he did not die in battle. You must understand I was not keeping you from him as an act of cruelty but rather the opposite. He was not ready for fatherhood. He was starting out in his career, A musketeer. He had dreams; ones that required work and effort, both of which he had plenty. Though seasons passed and it became clear he had little time for me, his king came first. Soon I became an afterthought. I was his wife and it felt like he had abandoned me. It all changed when I realised I was with child, I knew you would come to resent him as would I. I could not subject you to a life as a shadow, you would come before the crown._

_I raised my concerns keeping your existence a secret, it began an argument to end all others. That was the last I spoke to him before I left in the night. Selfish, I know. It remains my biggest sorrow. Though perhaps there is a penance I can offer. _

_Your father is Captain of the Musketeers. Go to the garrison in Paris and ask for Maurice Treville. There you will find him, tell him my name and explain. Show him this letter if you must. But go my love, Do not be alone. _

_There are things in life we cannot change, but these blessed details we can alter... they are the most important. _

_But above all else be happy and know that you are the best thing I ever did._

_Please my sweet girl forgive me._

_Your mother, Clarence.'_

* * *

Adrienne's stomach dropped as she read the letter over and over, She had a father. Her brain ached as she processed the information, she couldn't believe her mother had lied to her for almost twenty-five years.

Addie began pondering her brain flashing from one topic to the next; _Would his hair be the same mahogany as her own? Or perhaps lighter? A musketeer, he must be skilled with a sword... would he be proud of her sword-work? Or perhaps consider her a rank amateur?_

All these thoughts raced about her skull, chasing their own tails. Slowly it slowed down as she processed her plan. She'd have to meet him, there was no doubt about that.

But what if he was disappointed with her presence, what about if an estranged woman claiming to be his child wasn't what he wanted. All of her insecurities came to light, though quickly they were batted down, no. She would do it. She could be brave for the sake of her mother. Clarence had given up so much for her, it was the least she could do. She would follow her mothers steps, she'd be strong.

* * *

...

* * *

It wasn't for another month that she left home, After her mothers service she'd had no reason to stay. Working at the tavern as a barmaid saving money for her travels has been her only incentive. Now donned in breeches, with her chest bound and hair braided and a sword upon her belt she mounted her horse and left for Paris.

Dressing as a man was the safest way to travel, The roads were wrought with peril from murderers and rapists alike. Cross-dressing successfully made her less susceptible to the latter.

But that being said, ambushes in between patrols were a common thing and a known danger, that being said when she came upon a group of men and bandits fighting she felt obligated to help.

Joining the fray she became lost in a clash of furious twist and turns, her blades cutting through the flesh of her enemies. A rifle was aimed at the head of one of the... good? Men. Tackling said enemy to the floor before he could take the shot; she saved his life. Which didn't go unnoticed by the party of three.

After the battle was done and the enemies all lay dead, she was greeted by the men.

"Thank you for your help." A moustachioed man spoke with earnest.

"It's fine, you hardly looked like you needed my help... But I couldn't carry on by in good conscience." She explained deepening her voice keeping up the facade of a man.

"Your name is?" The man who appeared to be the leader asked, his voice spoke of good breeding and stance screamed soldier.

"Adri—an." She saved herself at the last moment, though the man to thank her seemed to smirk at her stutter.

"Well _Adrian,_" he spoke smugly "I am Aramis, This is Athos," He told her pointing to the leader "and this is Porthos." He gave a friendly wave. "Where is it you are heading... alone?" Athos asked almost disinterested.

"Paris... The musketeer garrison to be specific."

"What is it you seek there? You wish to be a musketeer?" Aramis asked his eyebrow raised.

"No... I'm told I'll find my father there."

"Well. You're in luck!" Porthos told her with a cheery smile. "You've got perhaps the best guides you could ask for, We are three of the kings musketeers." He pointed to his shoulder piece baring their sigil as proof.

Her eyes widened with shock, and she couldn't believe her luck. Stuck in the facade, she would have to meet her father... or she could tell them. Though not every man was honourable, she knew next to nothing about them, even musketeers could be thugs.

Adrienne decided to bide her time and wait, she'd see the character of these three musketeers, then she would decide from there.

* * *

**A/N:** Hi! First musketeer story. Kinda depressing and not very musketeer central but I wanted to establish Adrienne and Clarence Treville. I promise there'll be more leather clad hunks in the next one :D  
This will probably develop into an M so be warned, Smut may be involved later on! Please review and let me know what you think!


	2. Confession

The wind was heavy as she buried her chin into the scarf that caressed her neck, It was late but the musketeers had urgent information to deliver, They expected to be upon Paris in a matter of hours.

It wasn't until night had truly fell upon the group and darkness surrounded them that they dismounted. Adrienne was confused as she watched them, surely it was best to continue and arrive as soon as possible.

"We should give the horses a break." Athos told the group in a voice that gave no quarter for any argument.

"Good, got maybe a two and a half hour ride left for us." Porthos declared almost yawning.

"The captain needs this information, he said it was of utmost importance." Athos quickly defended their lack of sleep.

At the mention of the Captain the woman went white as a sheet, she had forgotten why specifically she was venturing to this land in all the excitement with these handsome men.

"I'll... I'll get fire wood!" She stuttered as she turned into the forest having already planted her feet upon the ground.

"It's not safe, allow me to assist you," Aramis left no room for arguments after he followed the woman-cum-man.

Porthos turned to look at his leader and friend with a single eyebrow raised in suspicion, Athos gave a single solitary shrug of his leather clad shoulders and turned to prepare a fire.

.

"So.. _Adrian._" Aramis drawled out her name almost mockingly, as if it was an inside joke she wasn't understanding. "What is a young woman doing out on the road alone?"

The firewood dropped from her bare palms as she was shocked frozen by his revelation.

"I... I don't know what you're talking about!" She equal-parts exclaimed and stuttered in feigning ignorance.

"You are a terrible liar, mademoiselle." He smiled almost comically as he inquired. "Those lips are too full and those hips;too wide. I am a worshipper of women, I know when I see one."

"Maybe you should stop looking at my hips then, Monsieur." Her eyebrows had fallen and irritation took over her features, mostly at her disguise failing.

"I am a gentleman if nothing else, you have nothing to fear." He had taken off his hat and fallen into a theatrical bow. "Though I do wonder why you decided to keep up this charade."

"I'm a woman in a world built for men, It's safer this way. Less chance of being raped and murdered at-least."

"You should tell the others. They'd understand."

"I will... in my own time, though I suppose I should thank you... I suppose. For not outing me."

"It was no trouble, but come now, they're waiting are they not?" He cheerily bent down and picked up the dropped twigs and carried them back to camp.

After adding the fuel to the fire they sat around it, The black smoke rising and fusing with the dark sky. The warmth of the fire expelled the cold from her palms, heating up the dainty fingers attached. She leaned over into her pack and pulled out the 3 baguettes, she had planned to be on the road a lot longer than she was, thanks to the musketeers shortcuts.

Adrienne ripped a single bread roll in half, she placed it into her lap and passed the remaining to the hungry musketeers.

"We cannot take your food, it would not be right." Athos spoke up the golden loaves still in his gloved hands.

"Please. It's the least I can do, you saved me days and perhaps my life."

With a curt nod he distributed the remains and they all dug in. She stared into the amber flames, how strange it was. She had never left that village now here she was hours from Paris, with her fathers men no less.

She felt her heart pound as she thought about him, Hours. Hours till she met him. Anxiety once again ate at her stomach, what if... what if he wasn't all she'd imagined him to be? She hadn't considered this before, but what if he wasn't the honourable man she'd been dreaming of.

Addie sighed heavily, leaning upon her knees. All this worrying was hurting her brain, She turned her face to look around the fire, Aramis was staring expectantly at her. As if prompting her to tell them, She supposed it wasn't too much of a big deal. Man or woman it didn't particularly matter to them.

"I have not being completely honest with you." Adrienne spoke up over the silence that had descended. "My name isn't Adrian, It... It's actually Adrienne." She reverted her voice to its usual tone, no longer was it husky but high. She lifted the hat which shielded her features from the men, and pulled the braid from its hiding place releasing it as the curls fell over her shoulders Porthos' eyes widened in shock while their leader remained almost nonplussed by this discovery.

"Well..." Porthos cleared his throat obviously at a loss for what to say. "Wait—You said you're going to meet your father... He's a musketeer?"

"From what my mother told me, I believe that to be the case."

"What is this man's name?"

"Maurice..." The brunette whispered almost uncertain with their reactions.

Athos' eyes had widened like saucers, for the first time since he lost his composure completely, Aramis let out a whistle while Porthos just looked utterly confused.

"Maurice? I don't know a Maurice."

"Porthos, My friend. The woman of whom we are looking at is none other than Captain Trevilles own daughter." Aramis explained wrapping an arm around his comrades shoulders. Porthos with his delayed reaction proceeded to stare, his mouth gaping open in shock.

"We should get a move on, This only makes our journey all the more urgent." Athos spoke up from the shadows as he stood, his mask of indifference back in place, and ever the voice of reason. They followed his lead dowsing the fire as they went, She hurried over to her steed when Athos' voice came from behind her once more.

"Do you need assistance Mademoiselle?"

She shook her head sighing, already it had begun, apparently four days on the road with them wasn't quite enough to prove her riding skills.

"No thank you." Adrienne slid her foot into the stirrup and heaved herself up, smiling at Athos in thanks. She knew he meant well, the moody soldier. She stared at his back as he got upon his own horse, he was strong and his shoulders were broad. He was a handsome man she was sure of that.

.

It wasn't until an hour into their journey that she once again spoke up, finally voicing the opinions she had been brewing.

"I... I don't want to tell him straight away." Adrienne spoke confidently, she attempted in vain to mirror Athos in his commanding speech, though she knew she fell short.

"Why?" Porthos questioned, "The captains the most honourable man I've ever met."

"I want to see him as he is, please. Give me a... a week. If I don't tell him by the end of those seven days you may do it yourself. Please, this is all I ask." she pleaded to the three musketeers in desperation.

"This is not a good idea, though I will respect your wishes. You have _one_ week, be assured if you do not tell him_ I_ will not hesitate to.


End file.
